The past year has been truly, an exciting ride. Lot’s of ups ’n downs, twists ’n turns, jumps ’n tumbles, and life keeps on surprising.
Having faced new lows, new darkness inside and outside.
At times I try to escape it or I think I’ve overcome it,
only for it to come up in my face with an even greater force.
It takes on my whole being, I feel it to the fullest. Only to realise it’s not bad, it’s merely change.
You cry, you shout, you fight,
You let go.
Something happens..
A new door opens and you think you’re afraid of it.
But theres something behind that fear, a newfound excitement is rising.
Something new awaits you.
In the beginning of this year I had no idea what to do, other than wallowing in my pain. Then a dear friend wanted to go to India, but wished for some friendly support for the beginning of the journey. I started to joke that I might go. I joked around with my friends about the idea. Until I started to believe in it myself..
I suddenly realised that I’m en route to India, facing a new and exciting adventure. On this journey I met so many beautiful souls, many of whom I am able to call my brothers and sisters. I learned so much from every single one of you. You taught me to stand in my own light, to let go of my mind. We all have a beautiful path…. I found new passions. I was able to cry of happiness for the first time since I can remember. This was the beginning of a huge personal transformation. I’m grateful to have had the chance to spend time with you all. And to have had the chance to be all by myself, to be somewhere new, all alone.
After several months of wonderment and exotic nature it was time to return to Finland. I was care-free as I roamed around enjoying the Finnish summer with this newfound self-confidence, this love for self. Although at times I fell back again into my worries, into my mind and old fears. At times I felt like all hope is lost, that there is nothing worth living for. But I prevailed, only to rise up even stronger. I learned to accept what is, and to use it to the fullest. I lived in a tent, I lived in a small cabin attic. It was all worth it. It was all exciting and a loving opportunity to grow and let go. As well as in India, now in Finland I have met so many beautiful people, again from which many I call my brothers & sisters, and I dearly call you so. Thank you for your presence, thank you for your support. Thank you for the experiences we have shared.
The feeling of moving on was growing inside me. I was looking for a place to call home. It felt like a struggle. Then I found a possibility, only to find another even better one. I got excited and started to prepare for it. I was waiting for everything to fall into place and went to meet a dear friend in Lapland. I’ve already been saying this year that I want to experience the cycle of Lapland. The periods of complete light & complete dark. I had been in Lapland for a few days and couldn’t stop saying, “I need to move here. I need to move here.” Then on the train ride back to the south, out of the blue a possible opportunity came up to live this dream I had. I hesitated. I wondered. I pondered. I laughed. I said: “Bring it on.” Then I was again in the waiting mode… And now I’m sitting here in Lapland. From +40°C to -40°C, what a ride.
The past year has been filled with growth and letting go. For a while now I have been on several personal quests, one of them is to be at peace. Here and there I have learned bits and pieces, in time they make a whole. –Just from the tip of the iceberg, I’ve learned to forgive, myself and others. I’ve learned to let go. I’ve learned to accept. I’ve learned to be softer on myself. I cannot claim to be a master in any of these, but I have grasped the ideas and am ever learning to be the master of my being. At times I forget some of these lessons and then life slaps me on the face and I’m given the opportunity to re-remember what I once learned, be humble.
This is merely a small part of the whole, but life sure seems to be interesting. I wanted to share at least something from this amazing past year with you.
I thank all of you beautiful people with whom I’ve shared the depth of my soul. Thank you for showing the beauty mankind has to offer. Thank you for being you. Thank you for your humane expression. Thank you for your compassion. Thank you for your motherly love. Thank you for your fatherly strength. Thank you for your brotherly support. Thank you for your sisterly care. Thank you for your light. Thank you for your darkness. Thank you for all that you are.
Words are not enough to expand my gratitude and love in sharing life with every single one of you. You know who you are, you know what we have experienced. You pass in my mind from time to time and I love you. It has been an honour to grow with you all.
I love you,
I’m sorry,
Please forgive me,
I thank you.
Thank you brothers & sisters of family Earth.
Thank you life.
Be the author of your life.
Haux Haux!
– A Humane Human.
